I was in South Africa this summer on a mission trip when I began to feel I what I call “holy unrest.” I experience it routinely, and it causes me to press deeper into my relationship with God and others. This time as I dug in deeper the unrest grew heavier, there was no relief. At that point I began journaling and going back to the basic college student struggle of, “what should I do with my life?” That’s an ok question when your 23, but when you have a wife and five kids that’s a fearful question to be thinking through. I mean, there are people talking about retiring early in their 50’s and I was struggling with seeing what I was going to be doing in 5 months.
So what guided me and eventually Sarah and my family to this point of being convinced to plant a church? That’s an impossible question to answer with a mere post here but I will attempt to use two categories to answer it briefly.
People
- God - I have prayed verbally, in writing and with Sarah, more over the last few months than ever in my life. Wrestling with God is never wise, but sometimes that’s all you can do. He won!
- Friends - I have a group of guys that I meet with for coffee that spoke much wisdom and truth and saw way before I did that this is the direction we needed to go. Thanks Perry, Wookie, Andrew and Ryan. Sarah has had many encouragers too. Thanks Lisa, Mary, Jess and Kendra.
- Pastors - When faced with indecision I am blessed to turn to other pastor friends who are awesome. Thanks Dennis, Dad (Pastor Larry), Lonnie (my brother), and Joel Gibbs.
Books
- The Bible has become a source of food that my weary, dry soul needed continually. Some verses that fed me through the process Matthew 14:27; 16:18; 28:20.
- Eric Liddell's For the Glory - the guy knew how to live. He bore the cross until death in a prison camp.
- Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret - This book wrecked me. Hudson risked it all for lost people.
- Kevin DeYoung's Just Do Something - One quote should do it, “God doesn’t take risks, so we can.”
We had made a commitment that by the end of December a decision had to be made. Honestly I had 13 other opportunities that I wanted make work, but God kept this door open the widest. It was almost like if we walked away from this there would always be that question in our minds, “what if?” So here we are, walking one day at a time, watching God unfold a plan and trying to journal as much as possible because there's moments when we have to say like the Psalmist, “But our God is heaven; He does whatever he pleases.”
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- Landon
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